{"id":27547,"date":"2026-06-27T19:00:13","date_gmt":"2026-06-27T13:30:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/banitoday.com\/how-lgbtq-affirming-churches-are-confronting-religious-trauma\/"},"modified":"2026-06-27T19:00:13","modified_gmt":"2026-06-27T13:30:13","slug":"how-lgbtq-affirming-churches-are-confronting-religious-trauma","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/banitoday.com\/hi\/how-lgbtq-affirming-churches-are-confronting-religious-trauma\/","title":{"rendered":"How LGBTQ-affirming churches are confronting religious trauma\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div itemprop=\"articleBody\">\n<p><iframe title=\"Everlit Audio Player\" src=\"https:\/\/everlit.audio\/embeds\/artl_6PGkeHjL6dP?ui_title_intro=Listen+now%3A&amp;client=wp&amp;client_version=3.2.3\" width=\"100%\" height=\"136px\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" allowfullscreen=\"\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(RNS and Uncloseted) \u2014 Jacob May remembers sitting across from his pastor at 22-years-old in 2014 at a Chipotle in rural Virginia defending his gay identity over a carnitas burrito.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They went over the usual talking points, with his pastor pointing to the clobber passages \u2014 the Bible verses used to condemn homosexuality \u2014 and May pointing out mistranslations and historical context in response.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWe should continue meeting weekly,\u201d his pastor said. He wanted to continue teaching May the Southern Baptist way: that homosexuality is a sin that would be punished by eternity in hell.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After that day, May stopped replying to his texts.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As he continued to tell people he was gay, he wound up losing his childhood church community.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cI just felt really alone,\u201d May, now 34, said. \u201cI felt like I had to start over essentially in my life since so many of my connections and friends and just subculture essentially were in the church. \u2026 I remember times just sitting on my bed, sobbing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It wasn\u2019t until three years later, when he walked into the LGBTQ-affirming St. Paul\u2019s Episcopal Church in Richmond, Virginia, that he began to open up his heart to faith again and his loneliness started to lift.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_4266154\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 750px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-4266154\" src=\"https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches9.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"750\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches9.jpg 1600w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches9-427x284.jpg 427w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches9-807x538.jpg 807w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches9-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches9-1536x1023.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches9-600x400.jpg 600w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches9-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches9-380x253.jpg 380w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\"\/> <\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-caption-text edd-enabled\"><span class=\"caption\">Carla, left, and Stuart Hays welcome congregants at Restore Austin in Austin, Texas, on Sunday, June 7, 2026. (Angela Wang)<\/span><span class=\"credit\"\/><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A national study published in 2016 found that<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Us-versus-Untold-Religion-Community\/dp\/1631466194\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">more than 80% of LGBTQ+ folks<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> are raised in faith communities. Nearly<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu\/publications\/christian-identification-sgm\/?\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">two-thirds of LGBTQ+ people<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> raised Christian no longer identify as Christian. And as religious affiliation has declined in the general population,<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/prri.org\/research\/religious-change-in-america\/?\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">nearly half<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> of Americans who left religion cite the mistreatment or rejection of LGBTQ+ people as an important reason.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Tyler Lefevor, a psychologist who<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/tylerlefevor.com\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">specializes in<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> LGBTQ+ individuals\u2019 relationships with faith, said queer people experience physical and mental consequences for suppressing their identities, including PTSD, anxiety, high cortisol levels and high blood pressure.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lefevor added that leaving religious spaces can be challenging because queer people are \u201ccut off from community and a source of meaning and a way of understanding the world.\u201d Because of this, m<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">any queer folks still want to find a space where their religion and LGBTQ+ identity can coexist: According to a multi-year study from <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Us-versus-Untold-Religion-Community\/dp\/1631466194?asin=1631466194&amp;revisionId=&amp;format=4&amp;depth=1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">researcher Andrew Marin<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, 76% of LGBTQ+ people who have left the church are open to returning to faith.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But it takes work for LGBTQ-affirming churches to address the lingering effects of religious harm, a form of trauma more therapists <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nbcnews.com\/nbc-out\/out-health-and-wellness\/millions-lgbtq-americans-religious-trauma-psychiatrists-want-help-rcna135728\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">are recognizing <\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2014 with <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/369327217_Percentage_of_US_Adults_Suffering_from_Religious_Trauma_A_Sociological_Study\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">one study estimating<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> a third of adults have suffered from religious trauma at some point in their lives, with LGBTQ+ people <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/pii\/S027795362200346X?via%3Dihub\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">disproportionately impacted<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_4266152\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 750px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-4266152\" src=\"https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches7.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"750\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches7.jpg 1600w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches7-427x285.jpg 427w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches7-807x538.jpg 807w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches7-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches7-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches7-600x400.jpg 600w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches7-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches7-380x253.jpg 380w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\"\/> <\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-caption-text edd-enabled\"><span class=\"caption\">Lead pastor Zach Lambert speaks to the congregation with the worship band behind him at Restore Austin in Austin, Texas, on Sunday, June 7, 2026. (RNS photo\/Angela Wang)<\/span><span class=\"credit\"\/><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Progressive churches <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">have to learn to handle the spiritual wounds of exiles from conservative religions, including queer Christians, said Zach Lambert, pastor of Restore church in Austin, Texas, an LGBTQ-affirming church that describes itself as \u201cpost-evangelical.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cThey think a rainbow flag on the front or a nod at Pride is enough to help somebody overcome whatever they\u2019ve been put through, and it\u2019s just not,\u201d Lambert said.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Instead, he said, it requires creating a church culture where <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">queer inclusion is intrinsic, not performative, and where LGBTQ+ people are \u201cin every area of leadership.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For May, finding a welcoming church was key to his healing. When he felt unable to be fully himself with his family and feared getting fired from his conservative workplace for being gay, his new church was the only place he felt comfortable wearing his engagement ring and being openly gay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cMy affirming churches filled that hole, filled that need, filled that spiritual desire in a way that, of course, a church that rejects you couldn\u2019t ever fill,\u201d May said. \u201cThey (also) give me space to process (my past). Just holding space and listening was so important.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_4266153\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 750px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-4266153\" src=\"https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches8.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"750\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches8.jpg 1600w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches8-427x285.jpg 427w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches8-807x538.jpg 807w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches8-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches8-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches8-600x400.jpg 600w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches8-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches8-380x253.jpg 380w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\"\/> <\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-caption-text edd-enabled\"><span class=\"caption\">Congregants turn to the Communion table at the center of the room to receive the Eucharist at Restore Austin in Austin, Texas, on Sunday, June 7, 2026. (RNS photo\/Angela Wang)<\/span><span class=\"credit\"\/><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<h4><b>What Do Trauma-Informed Churches Look Like?\u00a0<\/b><\/h4>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Visible inclusion<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">LGBTQ+ churchgoers said that seeing visibly queer people is one of the strongest signals of safety.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That was the case for 30-year-old Mariah Montgomery-Lindsay. Raised in East Tennessee in a charismatic, non-denominational church, she left in college because of how members spoke about and shamed queer people.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A decade later, on her first day at Restore, a formerly evangelical church that has since joined the mainline United Methodist Church, she was so nervous she was shaking.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIt was so scary to walk into a church with my partner as an obviously lesbian couple,\u201d she said. \u201cBut then we get out of the car, and there\u2019s another gay couple that gets out of the car right next to us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Inside the middle school where Restore meets, Montgomery-Lindsay said it felt like there were gay couples everywhere \u2014 greeting them at the door and playing instruments from the platform. \u201cNo one took a second glance,\u201d she said.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Intersectionality\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Karlyn Meyer, a 42-year-old legal education professional, initially joined a local Evangelical Lutheran Church in America congregation after moving to Chicago. The openly progressive church lined up with what she was looking for on paper: they supported queer rights, had a rainbow sign out front and funded social justice causes. But as a Black, then-closeted queer woman, she still felt like an outsider.<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_4266149\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 750px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-4266149\" src=\"https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches4.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"750\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches4.jpg 1600w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches4-427x285.jpg 427w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches4-807x538.jpg 807w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches4-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches4-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches4-600x400.jpg 600w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches4-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches4-380x253.jpg 380w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\"\/> <\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-caption-text edd-enabled\"><span class=\"caption\">Karlyn Meyer speaks at Lighthouse Church of Chicago. (Photo by Joel Ortiz)<\/span><span class=\"credit\"\/><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIt was predominantly white, we were kind of the younger people there,\u201d she told Uncloseted Media and RNS. \u201cWhen you hear of affirming churches, it\u2019s a lot of straight people who are affirming.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Looking for a better fit, she turned to Google and discovered <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lighthousechicago.org\/visitlighthouse\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lighthouse<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, a church founded by Black gay men that, at one point, met in a space also used as a Burlesque club. Now a United Church of Christ congregation, the church has always been explicitly \u201cBlack-centered and LGBTQ+ affirming,\u201d according to its pastors.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cLighthouse was the first time I\u2019ve been in a majority-queer congregation,\u201d Meyer said. \u201cI just didn\u2019t think that could be possible \u2026 that was really stunning.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<hr\/>\n<hr\/>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Inclusive language<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These queer-inclusive cultures are often complemented by thoughtful language. At Lighthouse, speakers deliberately introduce themselves with their pronouns, and each week, the church sings a welcome song that includes multiple pronoun options for God, like she, they and he.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At The River in Midtown Manhattan \u2014 which, like Restore, belongs to the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.postevangelicalcollective.org\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Post-Evangelical Collective<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \u2014 leaders opt for songs that have LGBTQ-affirming language and <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">are mindful that certain lyrics can trigger painful memories for people who grew up hearing they were sinful or broken.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_4266151\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 750px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-4266151\" src=\"https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches6.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"750\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches6.jpg 1600w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches6-427x285.jpg 427w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches6-807x538.jpg 807w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches6-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches6-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches6-600x400.jpg 600w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches6-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches6-380x253.jpg 380w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\"\/> <\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-caption-text edd-enabled\"><span class=\"caption\">A Sunday worship service during Pride month in June 2025 at the River in Manhattan. (Photo \u00a9 For The Sake of It)<\/span><span class=\"credit\"\/><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Language that organically acknowledges LGBTQ+ people\u2019s lived experiences is one practical way to say, \u201cI get you, I see your world,\u201d said Lefevor.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For Lucius Seo, a 31-year-old teacher from a Korean Presbyterian background, said the language at The River is a crucial part of their affirming environment.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIn the churches that I grew up in, God has been contained very neatly into a box of a father figure. In the Bible, God is very mysterious and infinite,\u201d Seo, who identifies as gay, told Uncloseted Media and RNS. \u201cAt The River, our songs use all pronouns and all expressions.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some examples include songs by LGBTQ+ artists and adapted lyrics that specifically acknowledge the queer community, like <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/religionnews.com\/2023\/06\/29\/a-prophetic-force-queer-songwriter-spencer-lajoye-finds-resonance-outside-religion\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Spencer LaJoye\u2019s<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> lyrics: \u201cAmen for the Queers and their closeted peers, Amen for the bullied who hold in their tears\u201d and updated lyrics for the song \u201cFor Everyone Born, a Place at the Table:\u201d \u201cFor everyone born, a place at the table\u2026 for Queer and for straight a place at the table.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Autonomy<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At The River, it\u2019s common for people to come from high-control religious contexts where belonging is contingent on conformity.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For Seo, even after leaving his family\u2019s church, he spent nearly a decade in a non-affirming nondenominational congregation in Long Island. While he served as a Sunday school teacher, he said he felt pressure to align his teachings with anti-queer norms. He eventually left after a parent asked him to teach students that being gay was wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_4266150\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 750px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-4266150\" src=\"https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches5.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"750\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches5.jpg 1600w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches5-427x285.jpg 427w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches5-807x538.jpg 807w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches5-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches5-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches5-600x400.jpg 600w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches5-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches5-380x253.jpg 380w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\"\/> <\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-caption-text edd-enabled\"><span class=\"caption\">Lucius Seo peruses the Lending Library at the River in Manhattan. (Photo \u00a9 For The Sake of It)<\/span><span class=\"credit\"\/><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After coming to The River, he had moments of anger, tears and \u201cfrightening rage.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He remembers having a panic attack on the subway commuting to The River, because arriving late at the churches he grew up in resulted in shame and berating.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Other members of The River were able to comfort him and affirm that what he was feeling was a normal part of the grieving process.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cI had a lot of church trauma from the past,\u201d Seo said. \u201cIt took me a couple of months to be like, \u2018I can breathe here, I can be myself, I can be authentic, and our voices matter here,\u2019 and that\u2019s why I decided to stay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">During services at The River, the Rev. Alison Noll said she adopts a trauma-informed approach by giving cues for what will happen (celebrating Communion, for instance, or singing hymns) so people can opt in or out if they feel it\u2019s too much for them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Leaders give congregants agency by inviting them to adopt whatever worship posture suits them, like standing, sitting or kneeling, and unlike high-control religious spaces, participation in services and at church events is invitation-based rather than compulsory.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_4266155\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 750px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-4266155\" src=\"https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches10.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"750\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches10.jpg 1600w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches10-427x285.jpg 427w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches10-807x538.jpg 807w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches10-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches10-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches10-600x400.jpg 600w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches10-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches10-380x253.jpg 380w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\"\/> <\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-caption-text edd-enabled\"><span class=\"caption\">Miriam Ritchie and Nicolle Truett pray together during worship at Restore Austin in Austin, Texas, on Sunday, June 7, 2026. The newly engaged couple were introduced at church. (Angela Wang)<\/span><span class=\"credit\"\/><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWe\u2019re not going to pressure you to do anything here, and so that means you have to claim your own agency and decide for yourself how involved you want to be,\u201d said Noll.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Every few months, they also host conversation church, where instead of sitting in rows and listening to a sermon, congregants sit in small groups while leaders guide discussion.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cThe church is the entire community,\u201d explained Noll, \u201cand we all co-create the church experience together.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<hr\/>\n<hr\/>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Theology<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the hopes of not offending others, some LGBTQ-affirming churches avoid concrete teachings on Jesus and the Bible, focusing instead on positive spiritual messages like \u201cGod is love\u201d that everyone can agree on.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While that can be comforting to some who are healing from religious trauma, the approach isn\u2019t satisfying for everyone. Lefevor finds that affirming religious traditions can often feel too theologically \u201cloosey goosey,\u201d especially for those coming out of traditions where the Bible was central.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_4266148\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 750px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-4266148\" src=\"https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches3.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"750\" height=\"463\" srcset=\"https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches3.jpg 1600w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches3-427x263.jpg 427w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches3-807x498.jpg 807w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches3-768x474.jpg 768w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches3-1536x948.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches3-300x185.jpg 300w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches3-600x370.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\"\/> <\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-caption-text edd-enabled\"><span class=\"caption\">The Lighthouse Church of Chicago congregation poses together for Easter on April 20, 2025. (Photo by Joel Ortiz)<\/span><span class=\"credit\"\/><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At Lighthouse, the pastors aim to offer in-depth teaching and analysis of the Bible while also inviting curiosity. According to Meyer, when they run into passages that have been weaponized against queer people and folks of color, they don\u2019t \u201cshy away.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIf there\u2019s something there that\u2019s horrible, let\u2019s find out the context for it,\u201d she said. \u201cLet\u2019s figure out what it was and why.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If folks do get triggered, they have experts from within the church community, including therapists, doctors and advocates, to provide support.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_4266147\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"width: 302px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-4266147 \" src=\"https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches2-295x369.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"302\" height=\"378\" srcset=\"https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches2-295x369.jpg 295w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches2-512x640.jpg 512w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches2-768x960.jpg 768w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches2-1229x1536.jpg 1229w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches2-300x375.jpg 300w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches2-600x750.jpg 600w, https:\/\/religionnews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/webRNS-Affirming-Churches2.jpg 1280w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 302px) 100vw, 302px\"\/> <\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-caption-text edd-enabled\"><span class=\"caption\">Jacob May poses for a portrait at the Church of St. Paul and St. Andrew in New York City. (Photo by Bryan Derballa for Uncloseted Media)<\/span><span class=\"credit\"\/><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cI firmly believe that every person is an expert of their own experience,\u201d said The Rev. Luther Young, Jr., one of the pastors at Lighthouse. \u201cI am not an expert on your life, ergo, I cannot give you all the answers about your life, but what I can give you are tools to aid you as you question, to aid you as you wrestle.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For May, being able to ask questions and examine things deeply changed everything for him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cOnce I found an affirming church, it wasn\u2019t about arguing over whether being gay and Christian was possible,\u201d May said. Instead, he was able to focus on faith, service and \u201cthe beloved community\u201d he believes God calls Christians to build.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Today, May attends St. Paul &amp; St. Andrew in Manhattan, where he worships alongside his fianc\u00e9, and in April he graduated from seminary with an MA in Religious Studies.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cThat church was the first space where I didn\u2019t feel like I had to hide,\u201d May said. \u201cThe best thing that affirming churches did for me was give me space to process. They didn\u2019t try to convert me or get me to believe what they believed. They accepted me as I was.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This story was produced in partnership with <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.unclosetedmedia.com\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Uncloseted Media<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, an <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">investigative<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> LGBTQ-focused news publication.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><!-- CONTENT END 1 -->\n        <\/div>\n<p><br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/religionnews.com\/2026\/06\/27\/how-lgbtq-affirming-churches-are-confronting-religious-trauma\/\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>(RNS and Uncloseted) \u2014 Jacob May remembers sitting across from his pastor at 22-years-old in 2014 at a Chipotle in rural Virginia defending his gay identity over a carnitas burrito. They went over the usual talking points, with his pastor pointing to the clobber passages \u2014 the Bible verses used to condemn homosexuality \u2014 and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":27548,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27547","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/banitoday.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27547","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/banitoday.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/banitoday.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/banitoday.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/banitoday.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27547"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/banitoday.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27547\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/banitoday.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/27548"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/banitoday.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27547"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/banitoday.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27547"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/banitoday.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27547"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}