<\/p>\n‘For nearly 10 years, I have felt like quitting’<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Speaking about his relationship with acting, Manoj admitted that thoughts of leaving the profession have crossed his mind repeatedly.\u201cYaar aapko sach bataun, kareeb 10 saal se na beech-beech mein mann karta hai ki main chhod doon. Lekin phir kabhi koi role aa jaata hai, phir main chala jaata hoon,\u201d he told Ranveer Allahbadia.The actor stressed that he does not want to continue working out of necessity. \u201cMain acting ko majboori ke taur par nahi karna chahta hoon ki mujhe ghar par daal roti le jaani hai. Mujhe acting karni hai agar koi charitra hai, usko nibhane mein bada maza aayega.\u201dInterestingly, Bajpayee revealed that he is now drawn towards lighter, commercial entertainers after years of taking on intense, psychologically demanding roles.\u201cAajkal mera bada mann kar raha hai commercial film karne ka… out-and-out slapstick comedy, nonsense comedy. Thoda gaanon-vaanon pe naacho. Ghar se koi taiyari karke nahi aana hai. Sirf family ko goodbye bolo aur set par achha time bitao,\u201d he said, calling it an \u201cescape\u201d from the kind of work he has been doing.<\/p>\n‘Dark characters take a toll’<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Bajpayee acknowledged that some of the darkness from films such as Gali Guleiyan, Aligarh and Bhonsle continues to linger within him.\u201cSometimes I am aware of the darkness that I feel mentally. Sometimes I exactly know where it is coming from. Gali Guleiyan se aata hai, Aligarh se aata hai, Bhonsle se aata hai,\u201d he said.The actor added that such roles often lead to intense mood swings and emotional exhaustion, making spirituality an important anchor in his life.<\/p>\n‘You are moving towards your grave’<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
The conversation later turned philosophical as Bajpayee reflected on ageing and death.\u201cWhether I look forward to it or not, I have to come to terms with one thing that is constantly changing. The life. You are moving towards your grave, towards your funeral pyre,\u201d he said.The actor noted that ageing has become increasingly tangible in everyday life.\u201cJo mere body ke cells the woh sab purane ho rahe hain. I feel it while climbing the stairs, I feel it while coming down the stairs,\u201d he shared.According to Bajpayee, death is an inevitability that people must learn to accept rather than fear.\u201cWoh jaana hai aapko. Woh toh jaana hai. Uske liye sochna kya hai? You should know it and try to come to terms with it.\u201d<\/p>\nLooking back at the cost of success<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
Bajpayee also reflected on the sacrifices he made while chasing his ambitions, particularly the time he lost with his parents.\u201cMaterialistically, yes,\u201d he said when asked whether the struggle had been worth it, before adding, \u201cBut I lost too many things.\u201dThe actor recalled spending much of his life away from home \u2014 first in boarding school, then in Delhi, and later in Mumbai \u2014 which created a distance between him and his parents.\u201cSometimes I feel, yaar, kuch samay aur mil jaata mujhe mere pitaji ke saath. We could have understood each other better. Ya meri maa ke saath hum apne personal issues sort out kar sakte the,\u201d he said.While he acknowledged that success gave him the freedom to choose his work, he admitted that not every sacrifice feels worthwhile in hindsight.\u201cMaterialistic fulfilment ke baad jab aap peeche mud ke dekhte hain toh lagta hai ki not all was worth it,\u201d Bajpayee said.<\/div>\n
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![\"Manoj](\"https:\/\/static.toiimg.com\/thumb\/msid-131471230,imgsize-52424,width-400,height-225,resizemode-4\/hadsqjgacaey7ja-1.jpg\")
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